There are some people who I call Facebook “ruiners”. If you read this list and some of these sound familar, then I have swiftly hidden you and laugh at you.

    Excessive love for God and the Son of Man

I will smite you speedily! Basically, if your posts start with, “Our God is a great God!” or end with “Have a blessed day!”, then I have hidden you.

Jesus says...

    Before posting pet pictures. Stop! Look! Question!

When you want to post a picture of your pet, ask yourself if it meets these cute requirements:
– Is it under a pile of towels or sheets with its head poking out?
– Is it a baby and it’s playing with another baby animal?
– Is it wearing an argyle sweater?
These lay out general guidelines. If you ask yourself these questions and your answer is “no” then please refrain from posting. Or else you will be hidden. I don’t care what your dog did on its walk today.

    Daily inspirational quotes

This only inspires me to mark you as spam.

    Relationship shout-outs

Okay this is just plain weird to me. Person A ends every status update with a love proclamation for person B. I just wonder if person B has blocked A because of the awkward love posts.

Lord Douche

A-muthaf*ckingmen for the hide and spam options!