I haven’t had great luck at dirty bingo in the past. The porn collection I have amassed is pretty awful. I have won, Screw My Wife Once More….Please. Apparently it’s a sequel. Then there is the morbidly obese porn I won starring the ever-popular Misty Mountain. That was a hit at our New Year’s Day Porn & Pierogies party. We drunkenly thought it would be funny to put the DVD in and then just change the input every now and again to see who would notice ol’ Misty Mountain doing her thing in the background. Then we would quickly change it back to a parade or the Music Choice channel, Adult Contemporary.
Sidenote: The party started as an innocent potluck consisting of the usual new year’s day fare, pierogies and alcohol. But then the alcohol took effect and porn started to happen. So began the annual Porn & Pierogies New Year’s Day Bash.
Besides party entertainment, the anal beads I won make for a great cat toy! I brought them home, plopped on my bed and took them out of the packaging and held them out at an arms in length in horror. As they were dangling my cat started batting them around. She loved them. It’s just obviously not a toy you can leave out.
Last night’s winnings were the worst of the worst so far. However, I’ve found another use for them as usual. The paddling and strapping DVD and women over 50 magazine will make for a great secret santa gift this year. I don’t want it in my house so why not give it to a good friend! Saves me part of a Saturday trying to figure out what to buy.
healthytakeover 
The paddling and strapping DVD: the gift that keeps on giving.
For sure! The cover is so striking it’ll probably give me nightmares.
Do tell. I’m horrified about what you’ll come up with, but I can’t look away. It’s the blogging equivalent of a pornographic traffic accident.
It’s called Made An Example. And there are two women, fully clothed, holding wooden paddles (the way they’re dressed, it looks like it could be the late 80’s) and there’s a guy facing away from the camera and his arms are over his head and his wrists are tied. But the kicker is, his butt is mangled…cherry red and bruised. Awful!
“Can’t sleep, clown will eat me.”