Tags

, , , , , ,

In a, not so revealing, new poll from the prestigious Quinnipiac University, the numbers strongly suggest that Ann-Marie Barnett is dating an asshole.  A group of Barnett’s close friend commissioned the study.  “We wanted to get some solid proof that she’s dating a complete fucking asshole.”  One of Quinnipiac’s pollsters said that this was by far the fastest, easiest survey they’ve ever conducted.  “We allocated a week to conduct the poll. We decided to use a random sample group.  That usually takes time, since people have to take time out of their day to answer our questions.  However, the response was swift.  We had overwhelming data in one day.”  The pollster added, “We used selected real-life scenarios suggested by the asshole’s girlfriend, who agreed to help us in our findings.  We then interviewed the subject about those scenarios.  Armed with that data, we conducted our random sample interview.  The results were staggering.  Ms. Barnett is dating a grade-A asshole.”  While being informed of the study’s findings, Ms. Barnett broke off the phone call and started to scream at her dickbag of a boyfriend about being a dickbag.

Advertisements