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In an impressive display of maturity not normally seen in 17-year-old potheads, Diane Sawyer, has created an unbreakable code language to cover her tracks when her dad ask her how she spends her days.  “When Arthur asks me what I’ve been doing, I just tell him that my friends and I hang out and talk about our feelings and stuff.  He eats that shit up because he’s a shrink.  He thinks I’m so well-rounded.”

Arthur cluelessly, drove Diane to her friend Jody’s house this afternoon, when Diane told him that Jody had just broken up with her boyfriend and she really needs to help her work through her emotions.  Diane stated, “Yea Jody didn’t break with anyone. I just bought some real uppy weed.” As he drove away, Arthur smiled with a smug sense of satisfaction at the good daughter he had raised.