The North Pole’s most famous resident, Kris Kringle, was just recently made aware of NORAD’s Santa Tracker. The elusive Mr. Kringle declared, “I chose where I live for a reason. These are the harshest, almost unlivable conditions I have encountered. It’s perfect. I can get all my work done with practically zero distractions.” He continued, “I leave the house one night, every year. One night! And they want to track my every move? Why can’t they just trust that I will get to each and every one of them in time?!” Kringle was unaware that NORAD had a Santa Tracker for the little kiddies in place since 1955. A NORAD insider, speaking on the condition of anonymity said, “I can understand why Mr. Claus would want to slip in and out of homes around the world undetected but in today’s day and age doing anything secretly anymore is practically absurd. Even if he’s Santa Claus.”
Kringle has been in contact with lawyer Gloria Allred about a possible lawsuit against NORAD for invasion of privacy.