A close friend of mine told me that when I would say something she believed me. I know that doesn’t sound outlandish but I talk about a lot of things. Things that I have little to no knowledge of. I’ve been known to drunkenly converse about geo-politics and religion.
I’m going to disclaim myself here: I listen to NPR. I’m somewhat informed. I just don’t retain the details of what I hear or read extremely well. Maybe it was too much “college freedom” that killed those poor little brain cells.
Back to my poor trusting friend who always believed me. She said I was believable because I would answer with conviction and it “sounded good.” So she went along with it. Poor thing. I wonder what she still holds as true from our many drunken conversations.
Cut to the end of a 3.5 hour shopping trip on Saturday and we are all delirious. We are about to walk out of the store when I got sidetracked by a video for Spanx and some cute scarves. My gf and I spot this cute knitted item. I say item because we couldn’t figure out what purpose it served. It was about a foot in length and not terribly wide. I saw a tag and it said “hand knit”. I handed it off to my gf and said, “Keeps your hands warm. It says hand knit.” Then I walked away. My other friend muttered, satisfied she had an adequate answer, “Oh.” However, my gf kept playing with it. She wrapped it around her head, around her neck, still very confused. I reiterated my conclusion to her. Then I realized. I realized what an absolute dolt I can be. As most of you reading this astutely figured out, hand knit is how it was made, not the body part it’s made for. Yea, yea, yea. This is, however, another shining example of where the confidence of my answer could have led someone else astray. And another example that makes me believe I might be mildly retarded. That and the fact that I have trouble tying knots behind my back.
Here’s another glowing example. One early Saturday, I joined a group for a morning boot-camp workout. A few of my friends are in the group. I noticed a friend of mine show up without her gf. I asked where she was and she said that she couldn’t come because “she had supervision”. I took this as she had something wrong with her eyes that day. I thought that maybe it was just a really odd way of saying she had her eyes dilated. Or perhaps she just sees too much. Then it dawned on me that she had supervision of other people and that got in the way of the morning workout. I decided it was best to keep quiet the rest of that morning.