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I received a notification on my phone that I had a new email waiting for me.  Considering the WordPress stats fiend that I am, I felt a junkie rush warm me from head to toe.  Eagerly, I open up the email only to find its an announcement from WordPress alerting me to a new theme.  Wait for it…wait…it’s a marriage theme?  Called Forever?  What in the gay hell is that.  And by gay I mean retarded!  Please don’t get your panties in a wad about the word retarded.  I’m not p.c. and if you are, you probably shouldn’t be reading my posts to begin with.  I swear I heard a collective groan when this new theme debuted.  It’s incredibly difficult to not be a cynical curmudgeon when it comes to modern-day nuptials.  Girls going berserk over the perfect, perfectly expensive dress.  The start of shows like Bridezillas encouraging ridiculous, manic behavior.  Then there’s Ms. Kardashian.  That fame stain who…no need to describe, because, we are all familiar.  We know when this one takes her morning dump.  I think she’s a queef (sp? If you somehow don’t know this word, I mean vagina fart.) 

I am willing to go out on a very tiny limb and say she’s doing more damage to the institution of marriage than Adam who just wants to make an honest man out of Steve. 

Thank the Almighty though, all those blogging, soon-to-be-brides (not to discriminate but any man who uses this theme has had his balls severed or he’s G to the A to the Y.  Not that there’s anything wrong with that.  I would love to be able to marry my old lady but we can only get “registered” here in Orlando) can stop searching.  Here is the perfect theme to use on your journey to the nuptial altar.