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You leave me with no other choice if you:

Show up at my doorstep holding a red-vested teddy bear and that bear is holding a balloon that says “Be Mine”

       Show up at my doorstep dressed as a red-vested teddy bear holding a balloon that says “Be Mine”

Give me a heart-shaped box of chocolates

            Ask me to go see An Affair to Remember at the local indie movie theaterBut I will go see My Bloody Valentine with you tomorrow as long as it’s the original.  The remake was crap.

Wish me Happy Valentine’s Day on Facebook

          Buy me roses

Give me a fancy boudoir picture of you

           Try to take me on a horse-drawn carriage ride through the 6 blocks of our downtown

Open your hand revealing 2 hits of pure MDMA and say “Let’s connect.”


If I see any of this....


Then this is all you'll see