Like a kid with a shiny, new bicycle, Iran was flaunting “a new generation of centrifuges and mastery of the nuclear fuel cycle.” President Ahmadinejad was present and dressed in a sleek, Iranian white (like Nantucket red, but not) lab coat loading fuel rods into the Tehran reactor. Much to the chagrin of Western Leaders, Ahmadinejad also announced that Iran is intending to start production of yellowcake. Although, yellowcake sounds delicious and could be a great export – “Tasty Iranian yellowcake is mmmm, mmmm, mmmm, delicious! The flavor explodes in your mouth!” – it is in fact quite sinister and used for making enriched uranium.
In other news, a sea lion attacked, Latin singing sensation, Shakira while she is vacationing in Cape Town, South Africa. The beloved Colombian singer took to her Facebook to alert her uninterested masses. “Omg, what just happened to me! I was attacked by a sea lion!” She was, “doing a baby talk while taking pictures” and then one of them leapt out of the water, “looked me in the eye, roared in fury and tried to bite me.” Shakira, not one to shrink in the face of adversity locked eyes with the sea creature until her brother jumped in and snatched her away from the beast. She believes the leviathan mistook her shiny Blackberry for some fish. This just goes to show that, Whenever, Wherever, land or sea, Shakira angers most living beings, that aren’t from South America.