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Say I get into Lil Wayne’s party this weekend.  What if I convince the Masshole’s boss to accept the invitation he was given and take me to Dwayne Wade’s party tonight?  What do I wear?  If I was going to the Daytona 500 it’s not hard to figure out how to redneck it up.  Jean shorts and a bathing suit top.  Boom!  Done!  NASCAR fancy is easy.  NBA fancy, not so much.  I’m not sure I even own the right shoes.  I’m not sure I even own the right boobs much less the right boots.  When I hear Baby Phat I think of something very different.  I hear Apple Bottoms and can’t help but think of all the squats I need to do. 

The trials and tribulations of a 35-year-old white girl on All-Star weekend.