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My birthday is coming up. 

 How old am I going to be, you ask?  Even though that is quite rude to ask a lady, I will tell you. 

I’m going to be 432 months. 

At what point do you stop counting your age in months?  I know a few mom friends, who have a few mom friends, that count their baby’s age in months when, in my professionally unprofessional opinion, it’s inappropriate.  Oh little Johnny just turned 53 months today.  What are you a savant?!  Who does math like that? Jeremiah is a big boy now.  He’s 49 months yesterday. Not enough fucking fingers to show my age now huh mom?

The Masshole and I don’t have any kids.  We have started to scratch the surface of what will be many conversations about whether to have kids or not.  However, time is not on our side.  If we decide to grow our little family, I would like to have kids before I turn 444 months!  I can just see it now, I’m 500 months old, chasing a 64-month-old around.   I dont’ even know if that math is right, but it makes me tired thinking about it.

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