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I did it again.  Every.  Fucking.  Summer.  I’ll never learn.

Every summer I manage to get progressively worse, ridiculous sunburns.  Well this year is no different.  However, this one is more ridiculous than painful.

About 45 minutes after we get out on the water, I begin to feel heat radiating on my shoulders.  I grabbed the sunscreen and put an ample amount on evenly; and by evenly, I mean, as far as my hand can reach around my back – 2 things should stand out to me at this point, but they don’t

  1. We’re on the water.  Water reflects the sun.
  2. I’m on a small canoe which doesn’t afford me the opportunity to switch positions.  Or in cooking jargon, you have to flip the burger to get an even cook.

Thinking I took care of my fragile dermis adequately, we paddled on.  3 hours later, no fish on our hooks and maybe one or two arguments over the struggle over paddling in unison, we packed up our belongings and congratulated ourselves on using the canoe, we had to have, for the 2nd time.

Once we get home, I immediately head for the shower.  After I pulled my clothes off I see just how evenly I applied the sunscreen.  Little traces of white run across big swathes of red skin.  Then I realize those traces are my damn fingers dragging sunscreen across the patch of shoulder I can reach.   A bit of relief came quickly, when the Masshole came in to shower and revealed her burn.  She casually circled some sunscreen in the middle of her stomach leaving a bunch of little flicks of red around her still mostly pale middle.

Exhibit A:

photo (1)

SPF fingers


Exhibit B:

Awesome, this will take all summer to even out.

Awesome, this will take all summer to even out.